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Unread May 22nd, 2010, 07:00 PM   #1
Blitz Rogue
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TLK Fanfiction Help

Well, I tried this last November and got no response (probably due in part to the fact the forum was a lot more active at that point), so I'm gonna try again.

As you can ascertain from the title, I am in need of assistance in writing a story. It's a piece of TLK fan fiction that takes place after the events of SP, but will be utilizing mostly characters already known from the first two films; I am adding OCs, however, the main plot is focused around canon (or mostly canon) characters.

I'm going to refrain from actually telling you what the main plot will be, as I feel it's a little bit obvious (though I am biased in having written this) and I want to figure out just how obvious it is.

Aside from that, I need help in general about what I've written thus far. Straightforward critique. Are chapters long enough? Too long? Is the writing too wordy and focused too much on description or is it just the opposite? Is the dialogue too dry or uninteresting? Am I [for canon characters] going too far out of character in some or many places? Even after spell check and my own rechecks, is spelling and grammar up to par?

I just need anything. I want honest [brutally, if necessary] opinions on what you feel this writing provides entertainment-wise and what it may be lacking. I'm hoping to actually finish this one [I don't think I've ever managed to finish a fan fiction proper], and any help from other writers/critics would be greatly appreciated.

Link to my fanfiction.net page is in my signature, but I'll post a link directly to the story for convenience.

TLK3: Kopa's Return

There it is. The Prologue, I've been informed, doesn't really do much story-wise, so reserve your judgment till you've read the first chapter as well, if you would.

I'm currently in the process of writing the second chapter, which is coming along rather well, I think. I'm hoping to have that done "soon"; for the definition of "soon", see this article.
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Unread May 25th, 2010, 06:52 PM   #2
Kryptid
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I'll try to read some soon. I'll edit this post when I have.

EDIT: I read the prologue and I like the way it looks so far. The writing is varied and doesn't grow stale or repetitive. There are nice allegories such as likening Mali's eyes to pools of green. Keep on going with it.
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Last edited by Kryptid : May 25th, 2010 at 08:03 PM.
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Unread May 26th, 2010, 05:35 AM   #3
Aikachi
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This probably won't be that helpful as a critique, but I really enjoyed it, and I do hope you update it soon, I want to know what happens next :D
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Unread May 26th, 2010, 11:21 AM   #4
Blitz Rogue
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@ Kryptid: I think keeping from repetition is probably the hardest part. Haha. Glad to hear I'm doing it decently well.

@ Aikachi: Thanks much. Not much help as critique, no, but it does boost my morale a bit, so it's helpful all the same. Helps me sit down and write when I know I'm doing well and there are people waiting anxiously for the next installment. Thanks for the feedback.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Still looking for some hard critique if anyone out there can spare it. :]

I want to make sure I'm not making any super-humongo mistakes that'll screw me over later on in the story. Little example that someone gave me over on fanfiction.net: "I though that the relationship of Kiara and Kopa was too rushed. They seemed to automatically be comfortable with each other. I think it would've been better for the to be kind and polite but very awkward around each other in this chapter, as they've just met. Then, you could expand on their relationship in future chapters."

If this person hadn't caught that I may have sapped a lot of potential from the story right off the bat in eliminating the need for Kopa and Kiara to develop a progressively stronger bond throughout the story. Small comment; big impact on the story.

So, yeah. Keep coming with the feedback guys. Please and thank you.
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Unread Jun 21st, 2010, 07:48 PM   #5
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Well, I figure I'll just give this a quick, little bump. Occasion being: me actually finishing Chapter 2 finally. Ha.

It came out pretty well and it's a fair bit longer than the others, so I'm happy with it.
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